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You know your father, and I have to work onSaturday mornings. It pays for the little things like this house and the foodyou eat and the clothes you wear. At twelve we thought you would be able tohandle a few hours on a Saturday morning on your own. All you had to do waswake up, make your beds, make breakfast and then watch television togetheruntil I got home. All you had to do was keep an eye on her and make sure shedidn't do anything silly like go into your dad's shed. It seems your notready for responsibility yet." We were playing hide and seek," Jason said, sounding like a whining littlegirl much to his shame. "How was I supposed to know she'd go in the shed?" Hide and seek huh? More like hide and stay watching the t.v. if I know you.The problem with 12-year-olds is they think they know everything and theythink the world revolves around them. I'd expect it from your sister becauseshe's a baby, but I had hoped you wouldn't be so selfish." Jason looked downat his little hands. Cold-bloodied, selfish, self-satisfying self-indulgence taking it out on another guy's flesh and bones because it makes you feel powerful and superior…. No concept of sharing the hurt, of giving pleasure, of listening together to the musical thwump of the flogger, of serving the floggee… It's all academic and selfish, - mutuality is dead, spiritual enjoyment gone….I used to row on the river (at Henley too), and a rhythm of 35 strokes to the minute was regular for me so that's what I look for now, full effort behind every stroke across my bum and back, but who is there out there prepared to go that far ? All the well-built ladies in scanty leather and high heels are a bit of a joke too, - they're professionals, so the thing most uppermost in their minds is not your pleasure but their own insurance risk… Fair enough, they supply a service, - they're not your lover. But that's the whole point, - where are those prepared to whip me and love me, to be drawn into my own ecstasy and cum.
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